Toxic Training (When “Helping” Hurts)

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA CTP

Training your dog doesn’t have to be difficult. In fact it can be fun and satisfying, and I hope it is.

The best dog owner / trainers seek out support from other dog enthusiasts, maybe even a professional dog trainer. We humans are great for helping each other out. And, sometimes we are terrible at it, no matter our best intentions. We can trip each other up and derail the learning process. If you’re part of a training team, with a spouse or other family member for example, remember to be patient, supportive, and encouraging. Avoid these three toxic training traps:

The Training Foul

Dog training is about learning timing and mechanical skills. So much of what we do when training is a precise sequence of events (Giving a cue –> Noticing the dog’s response –> clicking the clicker –>reaching in the treat bag –> delivering a treat). It sounds and looks easy until you try to do it yourself.

When we interrupt someone else’s training efforts and take over without our permission, that’s called a “training foul.” We’ve interrupted their training sequence and gummed up their learning in the process. Let’s not jump in with cues to help or click for them when their timing is off. At best, that’s unhelpful. At worst, it’s rude. Don’t do it. Let your partner come to a natural stopping point in training and then ask. “May I have a turn?” or “Can I share my observations?”

Holding Back

The opposite of The Training Foul can be just as bad – withholding valuable reinforcement. We humans thrive on reinforcement. “Let me know when I’m doing it right.” Our dogs are great at reinforcement. When we are training well, they respond. That taste of success is so very important when it comes to keeping the process going. Thank you, dogs. Equally important is the feedback and affirmation we give each other. Let your training partner know what you see that they are doing well. “Great timing on that click,” or “Good work keeping your hands at home position.”

Most of the time that’s my job as a trainer, coaching and supporting my clients. But, it’s not only my job. You can do it too. And, you should.

Shaming

This is the most toxic of the toxic training traps. I’m sorry to say, a lot of us trainers are guilty of it. When we shame our training parters, or when trainers shame their clients, they are stopping the teaching and learning process dead in its tracks. Shame is worse than criticism. Criticism can give us pause. It can even sting a bit. But, shame? Shame is crippliing. Shame suggests our training partner is simply not good enough.

“You need to be a stronger leader for your dog.” Shame

“You need to make your dog respect you.” Shame

“Your dog listens to me. Why doesn’t he listen to you?” Shame

“Here let me show you.” Training foul + Shame

Silence when the person training succeeds anyway. Holding back + Shame.

This can be tricky stuff. That’s why I call them traps. I don’t think people set out to be mean – to foul – to withhold – to shame. We can intend the best and still deliver the worst. It happens. So, my plea here is: be careful.

Dog training can be hard sometimes. Life can be hard. Take great care with each other. Take great care of each other. Tread lightly. Give thought. Take the time. Here’s my short list of how we can support each other well when we are working with our dogs (and it is a short list).

Take turns. This helps us avoid the training fouls. Ask to take a turn. When you are done ask your partner (or professional trainer) what did I do well?
Reinforce excellent training. Let your training partner know what you observed and what you think they did really well. If you are on a break or between reps training, give some constructive instructions for next round. (e.g. “This time I’m going to pay close attention to your hand movement. Do you remember the sequence?”).
Assume the best. One of my friends and mentors says “I choose to believe that at any given moment this person is doing the best they can with the information they have now.” That steers us away from shaming.

None of us set out on the journey of training our dogs to muck it up. We’re doing the best we can at the moment. And quite often the best we can do is to call in some help. And before long we might be the ones to get the call, to answer, and to step up and help.

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Houston TX. He’s also mentored other trainers at lectured at the IAABC conference on coaching humans. Sometimes he mucks it up – resets – and tries to do better next time.

My Last Dog Syndrome

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

I’ve known about “My Last Dog Syndrome” (MLD) for many years. I didn’t know the name, though, until recently. Lisa Mullinax CDBC coined the name on her Facebook page, 4 Paws University.

MLD is a funny name and it’s kind of serious, too. It’s not actually something a dog gets. MLD is something we humans suffer from. It is the idea that our last dog – the one who we still think about and pine for – was somehow better, less flawed, more perfect than the dog we live with now.

Lisa writes on her Facebook post that people often complain that: “My last dog was never this destructive. My last dog stayed in the front yard and never went past the driveway. My last dog loved kids.” Fill in the blank. The dogs of yore seem to have been magical in so many ways. And, the dogs of today – imperfect and unruly or worse – pale in comparison.

The real danger of MLD is that it can get in the way of training. My Last Dog was perfect and this one is broken. The reality is very likely that neither of those statements is completely true. I know of what I speak. I will tell you stories for hours of the enchanting (dare I say mythical) brilliance of My Last Dog, Juno. She was Dinseyesque, “practically perfect in every way.” But of course she was also not perfect, not at all. She chewed woodwork, ate clothing, and pulled on leash like a demon in her early days. But, we forget all that don’t we? And that is the gift of dogs. We remember the joy and their soulful eyes and the nights they stayed with us when everyone else had walked away. My Last Dog stole my heart and saved my life.

How can today’s dog compete with that? The heart is often so generous. It remembers the love and comfort of a dear gentle dog on a cold night. And oh yeah, the training and struggle? Forget about that. And, we do forget. Even if you don’t think you trained your last dog – of course you did. Maybe you didn’t go to a class or hire a trainer. But, you still taught him. One way or another you and that dog learned to be perfect together. It was luck and chance and some skill. You made it work and the skies opened and the sun shone and you figured it out, both of you. It happens. I know. It feels like magic. And, it’s not.

I remember the day Juno died, the end of our long story together that was not long enough. Not nearly. Our vet carried her body so carefully to his car. She would be cremated. The vet hospital staff would send her final paw print on a little painted plaque a few days later. The house was so quiet. Every so often I’d think I saw her from the corner of my eye walking in the room or jumping up on the bed. But, no.

Those of us who love dogs know we can’t replace them. We also know we can’t live without them for long. Stella, who came after Juno, was a puppy. She was sick in the early days, terrible in the typical ways (though, honestly less-so than Juno), and terribly quirky in unexpected ways. I remember the first time I called for her and said Juno’s name by mistake. “Juno, come!” I caught my breath and felt my knees give way. I sunk to the ground and sobbed. When I looked up I saw that she had come to me, barely 5-months old with that weird look she gives even now almost 10 years later. She came to the wrong name but, without question, to the right person. I needed her then more than ever and there she was.

I love the way Lisa put it in her Facebook post. “Your dog may not naturally take to the things your last dog did, but I promise that he has a truly amazing and unique quality that your last dog didn’t. You just have to find it!” And the magic is in the finding, learning with each other, communicating with each other, playing and training with abandon that leads to delightful exhaustion at the end of day with each other – a cuddle on the sofa in the glow of the television sharing that last little bit of pizza crust.

There are no magical dogs. Maybe not. And yet, all dogs are imbued with the magic of their kind. I think that’s the real joy of loving dogs. Each is so different. And at the core, each is so beautifully – dog.

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Houston, Texas. He lives with two amazing dogs, Stella and Stewie, and the perfect memory of his last dog, Juno.

Fixing Real Life Behavior Problems

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

The key to changing our dog’s unwanted behavior is pretty straightforward. We teach other behavior to replace the stuff we don’t want to see anymore (e.g. we teach standing on all four paws when we want to see less jumping up on people). In training sessions, this is pretty easy and we get quick results. But what about real life? What do we do to make sure our excellent results show up outside of training sessions?

First, make training look like real life. Will you have a treat bag on all the time in real life? No. Okay, slip a couple treats in your pocket and ditch the bag for now. Will you always be sitting, standing, on the floor, or in a particular room in real life? No. Okay, train your dog in various positions and in various rooms. Create a picture of what real life with your dog looks like and train for that.

Then, make real life look like training. Teach your dog throughout your daily life with him.

Use your cues. Bring your training cues into everyday situations. This is the stuff you worked so hard to teach your dog in training sessions, behaviors on cue. Now we put that to use in the real world with our dogs. Most of my clients learn “mat”, “touch” (hand target), “come,” “sit,” “down” and other cues. Use those as needed. You taught them–why not benefit from them? Your dog will quickly learn these cues work for him in many parts of his life. Reinforce generously.

Notice your dog. This is hard for some of us. We are used to cueing behavior (above). But, we are not as used to noticing when our dog is doing something right on his own. Let’s work on that. We want our dogs to self-regulate. We want them making the right choices without having to be told. Look for him doing that–notice it. Reinforce good choices every time you see them. (Reinforcement is an investment in his making more good choices in the future).

Reinforce creatively. Food works. We all know that. So, yes, use food. And, let’s also think of other things our dogs will work for. Play comes to mind. Praise? Meh. But, praise with a big smile followed by play, or food, or a walk, or access to other dogs–that’s pure gold. Mix it up. Always reinforce behavior you want to see more of, whether you cued it or whether your dog offered it on his own. But, make the type of reinforcement you offer a surprise. Wonderful surprises reinforce good behavior.

I often talk about creating a culture of learning and teaching. That’s really what this is. We are making our life with our dogs a nonstop exchange of good for good. That helps our dog choose good behavior. And we are there to support those choices. Old-fashioned training was a top-down sort of thing. This is a back-and-forth exchange–communication between two species. Cool stuff. Magical moments that, all put together, make up real life.

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Houston, TX. He specializes in helping families with dogs who have challenging behavior problems.