Jealousy and Dog on Dog Aggression

Michael Baugh CDBC

Jealousy is a complex cluster of emotions: anger, fear, uncertainty, and insecurity. If you ask a jealous person what they are feeling, they might have a hard time telling you because they aren’t sure themselves. There’s too much to unpack.

So, what about our dogs? Well, they can’t talk at all. Most of us can tell when a dog is angry. We can see fearful behavior. There are even visible signs of uncertainly and insecurity. Is that jealousy? I think the label is a hard fit for dogs. And I’m not a fan of labels in the first place.

Behavior, in this case dog behavior, is all about verbs. That dog lunged. One dog bit the other. My dog tucked his tail and lowered his head. We observe behavior, identify when it occurs, and then work to change it. Feelings change when behavior changes. We know that for a fact. Is my dog jealous? I don’t know. Regardless, let’s teach him a new pattern of behavior and hope that he feels better.

Most dog fights start over food or food-relate objects. I’ve seen it in street dogs around the world. My dog has guarded treats and bones. Hundreds of clients’ dogs have clashed this way. It’s commonly called resource guarding.

Resource guarding can spread. A dog might aggress toward a housemate dog over a prized sleeping spot, a crate, or a sofa. One’s dog might guard a caregiver and not let another dog approach. Some dogs become sensitive to another dog approaching their own personal space, no matter where they are.

After two dogs have fought a few times, there is a chance they will become so agitated that they fight on sight. The history becomes thick with anger and pain. They simply don’t like each other.

These cases are hard to resolve, not impossible.

Keep the dogs separate unless in a controlled training exposure. We want to protect them from their own unacceptable behavior. When they fight again, they just get better at fighting. It’s up to us to prevent fights at all costs.

Teach calm behavior. A dog who is physically relaxed (example: lying comfortably on a mat) is less likely to behave aggressively.

Safely expose the dogs to each other at a distance while reinforcing relaxed behavior. Progress incrementally.

This is a very abbreviated description of the process. Work with a qualified trainer to do it correctly and to get support along the way. The process is straightforward, but it is certainly not easy. Get help.

Do I think dogs get jealous? Gosh, that’s a hard one. I really focus on the more basic emotions that are linked to observable behavior. Keep it simple.

If using the word jealousy plays a role, maybe it is this. We humans can all relate to feeling threatened. We may fear that another person is going to take what is ours (money, status, a lover). It’s an unsettling feeling. We may become angry. It’s likely we will feel some enmity toward that person. When we share our feelings with a friend, they may say, “You’re jealous.” It’s possible that defining our dog’s behaviors as jealousy opens the door to empathy. We get it. We’ve felt that terror, that confusion, that rage.

Here we stand on common ground with our dog. “You’re having some big complicated feelings, dog. I’ve had those, too. Let me help you.” If a flimsy label (jealousy) leads to empathy, I’m all for it. Stand tall on that common ground. Step up and help you dog, because you know how awful it feels and how unnecessary that behavior is. Who better than you to help? You understand. You’re smart. And you got this.

 

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Arizona and Texas. He specializes in aggressive dog training. 

The Curse of the Mythic Dog

Michael Baugh CDBC

 

Charlie is a perfect dog. That hasn’t changed.

The only thing that’s changed is my perspective. I fell into the trap of thinking Charlie a mythical creature more than a dog. We all do it to some extent. We tell stories to ourselves about our dogs that make them sound like heroes in a Disney film rather than actual thinking, feeling animals.

We make believe they would never growl, never snap, never bite. Sometimes we even ascribe special qualities to them: healing powers, psychic energy, a sixth sense. Magic. We’re human. We make stuff up, even when the truth is already amazing.

What makes the typical dog so exceptional is that he is a typical dog. Dogs are so cool because they want to be with us. Dogs think. They learn. They have emotions. We learn from them. Dogs and humans develop relationships and friendships with each other. Wow! How magical is that?

Dogs also have limits, just like we do. Our dogs get tired, they get sore and achy. Some of our dogs have phobias. Some have survived trauma, physical or mental. Many need our help to navigate the human world (it’s complicated).

If we are being honest, we push our dogs to their limits and put them under pressure. We cast them as mythic dogs, fly them on planes, take them to restaurants, shop and hike and swim with them. We make them our emotional support and forget (sometimes) that they need our support.

I forgot.

After a long day of climbing red rock trails, Charlie snapped at another dog in the dog park. No one was hurt. Four days later, he went after my nephew’s puppy, Lucky. I expected Charlie to bounce back, to re-engage Lucky. He didn’t. Charlie stayed angry. I’d once called Charlie the most behaviorally sound dog I’d ever met. Now, we had a problem.

Lucky is only fourteen-weeks old. She was so cooperative. Charlie, Lucky, and I got to work. We made some progress. Of course, there is more work to do. I have more work to do.

It falls on us humans. This is our responsibility. Charlie was having a hard time. We’d been on a long trip together, flights and days in the car. He’d been to so many places, slept in so many hotels, and now we were at the busy family home in Albuquerque. He was fatigued. I’d pushed him too hard. He was (and is) still a perfect dog. But he wasn’t some Disney character. Perfect dogs need our help. Charlie needs mine.

That’s the way I like to think about it. It’s what I teach my clients. Our dogs aren’t bad. They aren’t defective. Perfect dogs behave in very typical ways, sometimes in ways we don’t like. They need our help. We are presumably the more intelligent species. Who better to help them? We also have the resources to guide them. Again, who better?

Who better, indeed? I do this for a living.

After twenty-two days of travel, we returned home late on a Wednesday Night. Charlie cuddled in close and fell into a deep sleep. Dogs are amazing, so resilient, so willing to learn and bond. I’ll watch out for you, little buddy. We did a lot on this trip. You did great. I’ll do better. It’s up to me to watch out for your needs, food, water, affection. Rest. I got your back, Charlie. I promise.

The Mythic Dog. How wrong I’ve been. My dog. Your dog. They are already more than we could ever imagine. How typical. We miss what’s right before our eyes.

I kiss his forehead. Good night, Charlie.

 

Michael teaches dog training in Arizona and Texas. He specializes in aggressive dog training. 

You are the Best Person to Train Your Dog

 

Michael Baugh CDBC

A client once taught me a very tough lesson. She said, “I have a lot of people in my life telling me what I do wrong. I don’t need another one.” She was talking about me. The truth stung. But it helped me change the way I teach people with their dogs.

The truth I discovered is that most people get it right. With some gentle coaching, they train their dogs well. One of the great things about positive reinforcement training is there is room for mistakes. You’ll never shatter your dog emotionally with too many treats or too much praise. Even if you only train your dog “well enough,” it’s still good enough.

Here are some reminders for success.

Praise and treat. Be on the lookout for what your dog is doing right. Reinforce that. Some of us use a marker word or a click sound as a signal to our dog that a treat is on the way. Great. Practice that.

Set your dog up to succeed. Avoid triggers and distractions, especially in the early stages of training.

Keep a positive attitude. Remember, the stories you tell yourself about your dog have a way of coming true. Keep them upbeat. You and your dog are doing great.

Be your dog’s advocate. Don’t let anyone shame you, even your trainer. You are the very best person to train your dog. No one knows them better than you.

Dog training is all about the relationship. It is communication. Celebrate that, even while you are learning. You’re not doing it wrong. In fact, you are getting better every day.

 

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Houston, TX. He specializes in aggressive dog behavior.