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Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

There’s been a notable shift in dog training over the past few decades. We no longer look at training from the perspective of a dog pack leader. That’s not only an outdated paradigm but one that was debunked a long time ago. Instead, modern dog trainers teach clients to approach training as their dog’s caregiver and teacher. At first glance that may look like a softer approach (it is certainly kinder), but it’s no less disciplined and much more dynamic in its effectiveness.

Be your dog’s teacher. Stepping into the role of caregiver and teacher sets us up for success in so many ways. Most importantly, it lifts the unnecessary burden of having to be dominant with our dogs, an “alpha,” or pack leader. Those are such vague and laden constructs. The pressure and lack of clarity around those terms too often leads us to confrontation with our dogs. Someone has to win and someone has to lose. If we are the alpha then, darn it, we are going to win. For our dogs, losing frequently comes at the end of a choke chain or prong collar. In the worst cases the dog gets shocked, slammed, pinned, or hit. It’s ridiculous. Humans have already won the evolutionary race. We have noting to prove to our dogs except that we care for them and that we are here to teach them: 1) they are safe with us and 2) they can succeed in our mixed up human world.

Think proactively. Good teachers think ahead. We want our dogs to succeed. So we set them up to do just that: succeed. When our dog wins we win. An old school trainer  might actually set his dog up to fail so he can “correct” her. That’s backwards. It’s also illogical. No good leader would do that. And certainly go good teacher would.

Teach your dog what you want her to do. Good teachers aren’t focused on failure. We are focused on successfully teaching new behaviors. What do we want our dog to do? Given the chance your dog can learn more than you might have imagined. How can we replace our dog’s unwanted behavior with something better? A little more imagination and positive reinforcement lead us right to our answers. We don’t have to be stronger or more dominant. We just have to be smarter. And good teachers are nothing if not smart.

Love your dog. Do you remember your all-time favorite teacher? Of course you do. We all remember our most beloved teachers. They are the ones who showed up in our lives when we needed them most with patience, with clarity, with kindness. We grew to love them. Ego-driven teachers on power trips, we try to forget. Right? But, the teachers who gently led us to new discoveries, to our own sense of self in the world, with great skill, and love – those are the ones we remember. Be that teacher for your dog. Check your ego and choose kindness. Share the wins. Reinforce generously. And above all, love deeply.

 

Michael Baugh teaches positive reinforcement dog training. He specializes in dogs with fearful and aggressive behavior.

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

Stella is a delight to be around. She is affectionate. She moves a bit slowly now at 13, but she’s still playful. Occasionally she’ll roll her ball to me while she stretches out on the cool tile. Stella is a good dog.

Stella was also bad. It seems like a long time ago, but Stella refused to pee in the rain when she was a puppy. She’s the only retriever I’ve ever met who didn’t know how stay upright in water. We had to teach her how to swim. She growled at me all the time, guarding this or that.

Stella was both good and bad, same dog, different behaviors.

We humans tend to notice and focus on bad things. We are hardwired that way. It literally is for our own good, our safety. For that reason, we tend to zero in on our dog’s bad behavior, the barking, the growling, the biting. We notice and complain about the digging, and the chewing, and the pooping and peeing. It’s normal. It’s also okay. Noticing where we struggle with our dogs helps us identify where we need to work. Ideally, it leads us to a plan to help our dog and alleviate our suffering at the same time. Our dog’s undesirable behavior always has a cause (oops, sometimes we are the cause) and that means it can be changed. That’s the beautiful thing about behavior, it’s always changing.

Let’s not overlook the good stuff, though. In short, it’s good for us to notice that our dog is not all bad. Most of my clients tell me “ninety-percent of the time he’s great.” They need help with the other ten-percent. One way I can help is to encourage you to look intently at all that is good about your dog. One reason is that your dog’s good behavior exists, plain and simple. We should take some solace in that. We like our dogs and there’s a reason for that even though they are sometimes awful. The other reason is that your dog’s good behavior also has a cause (yes, you are sometimes that cause). How did our dog get so good in certain ways? The answers can help us resolve the problem behaviors. What we are doing right with our dogs can help us where things are going wrong.

We notice where things are tough, often very easily. We can also sometimes see the path that lead us to these behavior problems with our dog. That’s a good start.

We can also notice where things are easy with our dog. Let’s look at the path that led to all that good stuff, too.

Behavior, by definition, is how your dog is acting in and interacting with his environment. There’s behavior we like. There are also things he does that we don’t like. He’s the same dog, though, all the way through. We can all relate to this, I think. Some day’s I’m at my best, so proud of the things I do. Other days, I’d rather not mention, not my target behavior, not my greatest moment. And yet, I am the same person in both instances.

Good dog. Bad dog. Same dog. On our best days we can see both. It’s the good human, the smart and patient versions of ourselves who can help our dogs tip the balance (yes, us). We can help them change the conversation with their environment, help them change their behavior. He’s great ninety-percent of the time, and now just a little bit more. It turns out that finding a good dog isn’t so hard because, after all, it’s about finding the good in the dog we already have, right here in front of us.

Michael Baugh specializes in fearful and aggressive dog training in Houston TX

 

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

We are trapped in a toxic relationship with “Should” and “Shouldn’t.” That is to say, we are trapped in our own heads with our own worst critic – ourselves. So it’s no surprise that we project that emotional poison onto our dogs.

He should come when I call him.

She can bark at the door but she should calm down when I tell her it’s a friend.

He shouldn’t growl … jump … lick … bite … move.

“Should” and it’s ugly cousin, “Shouldn’t,” are hurtful to us and potentially dangerous for our dogs. “Should” and “Shouldn’t” prowl the borders of  what we’ve dreamt our dog would be, what we’ve wanted him to be, perhaps even before he was born. We wished for a loving companion, a champion, a supportive friend, loyal, reliable, smart, like in the movies. When we actually have a dog we find ourselves very much in the real world of what he is and is not. Perhaps our dog really is loving to us and smart, but not so reliable when it comes to strangers. Maybe our dog scares people and sometimes bites. The parts we dreamt of that overlap with reality (loving and smart) feel good. The parts that don’t line up (reliable, for example) cause us to suffer. In fact, the greater the perceived distance between our dreams and our reality, the more we suffer. It’s in that gap that “should” and “shouldn’t ” wreak havoc.

Our worst critic (remember that’s us) is now our dog’s worst critic. We love him, but he’s also the target of our vitriol. “Should” and “Shouldn’t” box us in and loom heavy over us; they hurl our own sharp words at us; they shame us; they are angry with us. You should go to the gym. You shouldn’t eat that. You should stop this or that vice. You should do better. You should be better. It hurts. We should on ourselves every day, sometimes all day. It’s no wonder we slip into the muck of dog shaming. My dog should behave better. 

“Should” and “Shouldn’t” are the bullies we let into our own heads. They push too many of us to use force and pain in the name of training. Languishing in the chasm between what we imagined our dog would be and who this dog in front of us actually is, we turn to “should” and “shouldn’t” for guidance, our worst critics, our worst enemies. But, instead of offering calm assurance they prod us to hurry up, fix this, make him behave better, make him submit, make him what he should be. And they taunt us – you should show him who is boss, you should be more alpha, you should be the pack leader. You should. You should. You should.

But Michael, you might ask, shouldn’t we have goals for our dogs? How else will things get better?

That is your rational self talking. And yes, I certainly agree. Goals inspire our present moment. They articulate the potential for growth and improvement. Goals invite us to the path toward all that is possible. “Should” and “Shouldn’t” are not goals. They keep us stuck in self-criticism, self-loathing. They reject the present moment over an illusory future laden with vague expectations. They invite us to engage in nothing but our own dissatisfaction. So yes, choose goals. Write them down. Take action. And leave “Should” and “Shouldn’t” behind.

This is one of the first things I learned as a dog trainer. Train the dog in front of you. I’ve adapted it over the years to include Teach the person in front of you. I know “Should” and “Shouldn’t” well. It has become my life’s work (including my personal life) to keep them at arms length or farther. Teaching the student in front of me grounds me in the present moment, right here, right now. I do not know what your dog should be. I do not know what you should be. I’m more interested in what we can all become together, in where the process of learning and teaching may take us. Training with your dog may lead to unexpected places. Perhaps it will be a journey that bridges the divide between what you dreamed your dog would be and who he is now. Or perhaps you’ll will discover something else, a life with your dog you never imagined, one so wonderful you dared not dream it until now.

Michael Baugh specializes in aggressive dog training in Houston TX.