Jealousy and Dog on Dog Aggression

Michael Baugh CDBC

Jealousy is a complex cluster of emotions: anger, fear, uncertainty, and insecurity. If you ask a jealous person what they are feeling, they might have a hard time telling you because they aren’t sure themselves. There’s too much to unpack.

So, what about our dogs? Well, they can’t talk at all. Most of us can tell when a dog is angry. We can see fearful behavior. There are even visible signs of uncertainly and insecurity. Is that jealousy? I think the label is a hard fit for dogs. And I’m not a fan of labels in the first place.

Behavior, in this case dog behavior, is all about verbs. That dog lunged. One dog bit the other. My dog tucked his tail and lowered his head. We observe behavior, identify when it occurs, and then work to change it. Feelings change when behavior changes. We know that for a fact. Is my dog jealous? I don’t know. Regardless, let’s teach him a new pattern of behavior and hope that he feels better.

Most dog fights start over food or food-relate objects. I’ve seen it in street dogs around the world. My dog has guarded treats and bones. Hundreds of clients’ dogs have clashed this way. It’s commonly called resource guarding.

Resource guarding can spread. A dog might aggress toward a housemate dog over a prized sleeping spot, a crate, or a sofa. One’s dog might guard a caregiver and not let another dog approach. Some dogs become sensitive to another dog approaching their own personal space, no matter where they are.

After two dogs have fought a few times, there is a chance they will become so agitated that they fight on sight. The history becomes thick with anger and pain. They simply don’t like each other.

These cases are hard to resolve, not impossible.

Keep the dogs separate unless in a controlled training exposure. We want to protect them from their own unacceptable behavior. When they fight again, they just get better at fighting. It’s up to us to prevent fights at all costs.

Teach calm behavior. A dog who is physically relaxed (example: lying comfortably on a mat) is less likely to behave aggressively.

Safely expose the dogs to each other at a distance while reinforcing relaxed behavior. Progress incrementally.

This is a very abbreviated description of the process. Work with a qualified trainer to do it correctly and to get support along the way. The process is straightforward, but it is certainly not easy. Get help.

Do I think dogs get jealous? Gosh, that’s a hard one. I really focus on the more basic emotions that are linked to observable behavior. Keep it simple.

If using the word jealousy plays a role, maybe it is this. We humans can all relate to feeling threatened. We may fear that another person is going to take what is ours (money, status, a lover). It’s an unsettling feeling. We may become angry. It’s likely we will feel some enmity toward that person. When we share our feelings with a friend, they may say, “You’re jealous.” It’s possible that defining our dog’s behaviors as jealousy opens the door to empathy. We get it. We’ve felt that terror, that confusion, that rage.

Here we stand on common ground with our dog. “You’re having some big complicated feelings, dog. I’ve had those, too. Let me help you.” If a flimsy label (jealousy) leads to empathy, I’m all for it. Stand tall on that common ground. Step up and help you dog, because you know how awful it feels and how unnecessary that behavior is. Who better than you to help? You understand. You’re smart. And you got this.

 

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Arizona and Texas. He specializes in aggressive dog training

Teach Your Dog to Relax on Cue

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

Anything our dogs can physically do, we can put on cue. Our dogs can run towards us, walk beside us, lie down, stand still, and do a ton of other things. We can train all of those, put them on cue, turn them into polite behavior or tricks.

Think about that for a minute. What are the things your dog does, or could do, that you really like? We focus on the bad stuff, the misbehavior, things we want our dog to stop doing. Think for a minute about the good stuff you’ve observed. Most of my clients tell me their dogs are good ninety percent of the time. What does good look like?

Street dog “loafing” in Sri Lanka

Here’s a fun fact: it turns out dogs spend about a third of their waking hours just chilling and casually watching the world go by. That’s good. Some researchers call this behavior “loafing.” I prefer what certified dog behavior consultant Sarah Fraser calls it: “relaxed observation.” Street dogs do it. Our pet dogs do it. It’s natural. And guess what? We can put it on cue.

Trainers learned long ago that the best way to stop misbehavior (think: biting, for example) is to replace that behavior with something different. When we ask folks what they’d like their dogs to do, the question stumps them. They just want their dog to stop (insert unwanted behavior). When pressed, some simply say they want their dog to do nothing at all. That frustrated trainers until we realized that doing nothing is actually doing something. Lying down and observing are both behaviors and we could teach dogs to do them in a slow and relaxed manner. We can teach relaxed observation.

It gets even better. When we train a dog to relax the body, the mind follows. There’s research behind this. It’s like when we humans do our breathing exercises. It’s a simple behavior that calms our bodies and our minds. Lots of behaviors affect our feelings. The simple act of intentionally smiling can put us in a good mood. Try it. It’s fun.

Like humans, our dogs do best learning to relax in a calm and nondistracting setting. Always set your dog up to succeed. I teach Dr. Lore Haug’s conditioning relaxation protocol. We begin by teaching down in a relaxed posture – the dog lounging on their hips rather that lying tense facing forward. We add the visual cue of a mat to direct where they lie down and how deeply they relax.

Charlie chilling in the front yard

We don’t put the behavior under any social pressure until it’s well engrained. When we take our time and train it right, though, this simple exercise is very versatile and durable. Training your dog to do nothing is really something!

I teach relaxed observation to almost all of my clients’ dogs. Many clients tell me it calms their dog, not just in training, but in everyday life. It’s as if they’ve adjusted their dog’s baseline for relaxation and they are just calmer over all.

I’ve seen that with my dog, Charlie. Relaxed observation is his default behavior at outdoor restaurants, coffee shops, at the airport and even the vet clinic. This is natural behavior, and it’s learned behavior.

Charlie’s not special. Any dog can learn to relax on cue. We can too, of course. In fact, we can model calm behavior for our dogs and see them reflect it back. How cool is that? We can hang out and chill out together. Just doing nothing with our dog has never been so much fun.

 

Inspired by Sarah Fraser’s post The Non-Activity we Should All do More Often with Our Dogs

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Houston Texas. He specializes in aggressive dog training.

Michael’s Dogs – Celebrating LGBTQ+ Pride

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

Some folks are going to hate me for posting a “political” blog. Stay in your lane. Stick to dog training. I’m okay with that. Politics is only divisive and nasty when we make it that way. The word itself derives from the Greek for “affairs of the city.” The comings and goings of our common spaces. How we all get along. Our common ground.

I’ve long said that your dog has led us to the common ground on which we meet. That’s true for you and me. It has been for nearly 25 years now. Some of you identify as LGBTQ. Most of you do not. I speak freely about my husband, Tim. Some of you give pause. Most don’t. Some of us have spoken openly and respectfully about differences that don’t pertain to dog training (we both remember). That was cool. Most of the time we don’t. One of my clients prayed over me during a consult. That was awkward. Another pulled me aside as I was leaving and said kindly, (paraphrasing) We are conservative and devoutly Christian and we want you to feel comfortable here working with us. We respect you for who you are as a person. I thought about that for a long time and still do.

These are the affairs of our common ground, our idle comings and goings, our politics (Greek: Πολιτικά, politiká). Eventually, and inevitably, your dog reels us back in. He barks or growls or otherwise let’s us know he doesn’t like me nearly as much as you seem to. Back to work we go.

I don’t think I’ve every officially identified Michael’s Dogs as an LGBTQ+ owned business, not in 25 years. It seemed superfluous. Politics isn’t of much merit in our little town square, your home with your family, your dog, and me. And besides, politics can be divisive or nasty when it’s weaponized. Here’s the other thing. I’m gay. But, I’m also a cis white male. Cisgender means I identify with my gender assigned at birth. I’m white. I’m a man. I pass. And in daily life I pretty much get a free pass. No one worries much about the gay florist or the gay hairdresser or me, so long as we do our work and stay in our lane. Stick to the dog training. Let’s not get political.

I’m old enough, though, to remember the teaching of Harvey Milk. He was an out gay politician on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (like the city council). He was assassinated in 1978 (along with the San Francisco Mayor) after passing a law banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Again, this was 1978. The assassin was a fellow supervisor who cast the only vote against the measure. Milk’s teaching to LGBTQ people was simple. Be visible. Come out. It’s the teaching I remember today, this first day of LGBTQ Pride Month 2023. Stand up. Be seen.

Why? Because the affairs of the city (or the state, or the nation) are often a big and messy thing. All politics is local. Real politics is up close, one-on-one, in our homes, on this common ground right here with our dog. Milk taught us to be authentic with our family and friends because they already know us. They love us. It’s why I’m authentic with you now and always. I’m that guy who helped you out of a tight spot with your dog. I told you about my husband and our dogs. We had some serious talks because sometimes dog behavior issues are serious. We had some fun chats, too. It wasn’t political but really it was because what I’m talking about is how we got along. That’s what politics is all about.

Politics is only ugly when it’s weaponized, when we are divided so that someone else can wield power. Here was Milk’s strategy. Be who you are, open-hearted, calmly confident, without shame because there is no shame to be had here. Be yourself. Be visible. Be out. Be proud, so that when politicians try to gain power at your expense, your family, your friends (and yes your colleagues and clients) will know better. They will know you.

It’s hard to hate up close. It’s hard to cast a vote for someone’s demise when you know them – to wish someone ill – when you know them – to elect for someone’s suffering and take refuge in indifference – when you know them. So, know this. I cherish the common ground onto which your dog has led us. I see and know you. I take pride, take solace, sitting with you here, confident that you see and know me, too.

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA teaches dog training and behavior. He lives with his husband, Tim, in Houston Texas.