A client once taught me a very tough lesson. She said, “I have a lot of people in my life telling me what I do wrong. I don’t need another one.” She was talking about me. The truth stung. But it helped me change the way I teach people with their dogs.
The truth I discovered is that most people get it right. With some gentle coaching, they train their dogs well. One of the great things about positive reinforcement training is there is room for mistakes. You’ll never shatter your dog emotionally with too many treats or too much praise. Even if you only train your dog “well enough,” it’s still good enough.
Here are some reminders for success.
Praise and treat. Be on the lookout for what your dog is doing right. Reinforce that. Some of us use a marker word or a click sound as a signal to our dog that a treat is on the way. Great. Practice that.
Set your dog up to succeed. Avoid triggers and distractions, especially in the early stages of training.
Keep a positive attitude. Remember, the stories you tell yourself about your dog have a way of coming true. Keep them upbeat. You and your dog are doing great.
Be your dog’s advocate. Don’t let anyone shame you, even your trainer. You are the very best person to train your dog. No one knows them better than you.
Dog training is all about the relationship. It is communication. Celebrate that, even while you are learning. You’re not doing it wrong. In fact, you are getting better every day.
Our dogs’ behavior changes. That’s good news, and it is bad news. Behavior changes in ways we want it to. Think: training. Our dogs’ behavior changes in ways we don’t want it to as well. Think: why is he suddenly barking at visitors?
Our dogs are always learning from us, from others, and from their environment. Changing behavior is inevitable. It is part of nature, like gravity and the rising sun.
One of my favorite authors, Octavia Butler, wrote: “The only lasting truth is change. God is change.” (Parable of the Sower). That might not set well with some of my readers. So, think of it metaphorically. Change is the one constant, from animals to plants to the landscape itself. Everything changes. For believers, it would be hard to ignore the hand of God in all that. For nonbelievers, it is awe-inspiring nonetheless.
Change, specifically the promise of changing behavior, inspires my work with you and your dogs. Of course, change is frightening sometimes. (Why is this happening? It hasn’t happened before.) I choose to look at change with wonder. (Look at what is happening now. This is new. How cool.)
“All that you touch, you change. All that you change changes you.” That’s Octavia Butler, too. We influence change because we are part of this living world. We certainly influence changes in our dogs’ behavior. I see that every day in my work and in my own home. It’s a marvel if you think about it.
My dog Charlie is a champ at coming when called and he loves lying on his mat. He’s also taking on air travel, long road trips, and hikes up desert rocks (no small challenge for a three-legged dog).
On the surface, it looks like nothing more than cues and treats. That’s part of dog training, yes. But zoom out. Change begets change. The little ways we set up our dogs’ world can have huge positive effects. How can we change the settings we create for them? What slight changes can we make in our own behavior to make learning easier for our dogs? Where can we change things to ensure our dogs’ success?
Join me this new year in embracing change. Some of it is scary. I get it. Much of it, most certainly the behavior change work we do with our dogs, is waiting with joy and surprise. Teach. Love. Teach again. Love some more. Marvel at the change. Our dogs are changing. We, too, are changing.
“God is Change — Seed to tree, tree to forest; Rain to river, river to sea; Grubs to bees, bees to swarm. From one, many; from many, one; Forever uniting, growing, dissolving — forever changing. The universe is God’s self-portrait.” Octavia Butler.
Anything our dogs can physically do, we can put on cue. Our dogs can run towards us, walk beside us, lie down, stand still, and do a ton of other things. We can train all of those, put them on cue, turn them into polite behavior or tricks.
Think about that for a minute. What are the things your dog does, or could do, that you really like? We focus on the bad stuff, the misbehavior, things we want our dog to stop doing. Think for a minute about the good stuff you’ve observed. Most of my clients tell me their dogs are good ninety percent of the time. What does good look like?
Street dog “loafing” in Sri Lanka
Here’s a fun fact: it turns out dogs spend about a third of their waking hours just chilling and casually watching the world go by. That’s good. Some researchers call this behavior “loafing.” I prefer what certified dog behavior consultant Sarah Fraser calls it: “relaxed observation.” Street dogs do it. Our pet dogs do it. It’s natural. And guess what? We can put it on cue.
Trainers learned long ago that the best way to stop misbehavior (think: biting, for example) is to replace that behavior with something different. When we ask folks what they’d like their dogs to do, the question stumps them. They just want their dog to stop (insert unwanted behavior). When pressed, some simply say they want their dog to do nothing at all. That frustrated trainers until we realized that doing nothing is actually doing something. Lying down and observing are both behaviors and we could teach dogs to do them in a slow and relaxed manner. We can teach relaxed observation.
It gets even better. When we train a dog to relax the body, the mind follows. There’s research behind this. It’s like when we humans do our breathing exercises. It’s a simple behavior that calms our bodies and our minds. Lots of behaviors affect our feelings. The simple act of intentionally smiling can put us in a good mood. Try it. It’s fun.
Like humans, our dogs do best learning to relax in a calm and nondistracting setting. Always set your dog up to succeed. I teach Dr. Lore Haug’s conditioning relaxation protocol. We begin by teaching down in a relaxed posture – the dog lounging on their hips rather that lying tense facing forward. We add the visual cue of a mat to direct where they lie down and how deeply they relax.
Charlie chilling in the front yard
We don’t put the behavior under any social pressure until it’s well engrained. When we take our time and train it right, though, this simple exercise is very versatile and durable. Training your dog to do nothing is really something!
I teach relaxed observation to almost all of my clients’ dogs. Many clients tell me it calms their dog, not just in training, but in everyday life. It’s as if they’ve adjusted their dog’s baseline for relaxation and they are just calmer over all.
I’ve seen that with my dog, Charlie. Relaxed observation is his default behavior at outdoor restaurants, coffee shops, at the airport and even the vet clinic. This is natural behavior, and it’s learned behavior.
Charlie’s not special. Any dog can learn to relax on cue. We can too, of course. In fact, we can model calm behavior for our dogs and see them reflect it back. How cool is that? We can hang out and chill out together. Just doing nothing with our dog has never been so much fun.
The truth I discovered is that most people get it right. With some gentle coaching, they train their dogs well. One of the great things about positive reinforcement training is there is room for mistakes. You’ll never shatter your dog emotionally with too many treats or too much praise. Even if you only train your dog “well enough,” it’s still good enough.
