Michael’s Dogs – Celebrating LGBTQ+ Pride

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

Some folks are going to hate me for posting a “political” blog. Stay in your lane. Stick to dog training. I’m okay with that. Politics is only divisive and nasty when we make it that way. The word itself derives from the Greek for “affairs of the city.” The comings and goings of our common spaces. How we all get along. Our common ground.

I’ve long said that your dog has led us to the common ground on which we meet. That’s true for you and me. It has been for nearly 25 years now. Some of you identify as LGBTQ. Most of you do not. I speak freely about my husband, Tim. Some of you give pause. Most don’t. Some of us have spoken openly and respectfully about differences that don’t pertain to dog training (we both remember). That was cool. Most of the time we don’t. One of my clients prayed over me during a consult. That was awkward. Another pulled me aside as I was leaving and said kindly, (paraphrasing) We are conservative and devoutly Christian and we want you to feel comfortable here working with us. We respect you for who you are as a person. I thought about that for a long time and still do.

These are the affairs of our common ground, our idle comings and goings, our politics (Greek: Πολιτικά, politiká). Eventually, and inevitably, your dog reels us back in. He barks or growls or otherwise let’s us know he doesn’t like me nearly as much as you seem to. Back to work we go.

I don’t think I’ve every officially identified Michael’s Dogs as an LGBTQ+ owned business, not in 25 years. It seemed superfluous. Politics isn’t of much merit in our little town square, your home with your family, your dog, and me. And besides, politics can be divisive or nasty when it’s weaponized. Here’s the other thing. I’m gay. But, I’m also a cis white male. Cisgender means I identify with my gender assigned at birth. I’m white. I’m a man. I pass. And in daily life I pretty much get a free pass. No one worries much about the gay florist or the gay hairdresser or me, so long as we do our work and stay in our lane. Stick to the dog training. Let’s not get political.

I’m old enough, though, to remember the teaching of Harvey Milk. He was an out gay politician on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (like the city council). He was assassinated in 1978 (along with the San Francisco Mayor) after passing a law banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Again, this was 1978. The assassin was a fellow supervisor who cast the only vote against the measure. Milk’s teaching to LGBTQ people was simple. Be visible. Come out. It’s the teaching I remember today, this first day of LGBTQ Pride Month 2023. Stand up. Be seen.

Why? Because the affairs of the city (or the state, or the nation) are often a big and messy thing. All politics is local. Real politics is up close, one-on-one, in our homes, on this common ground right here with our dog. Milk taught us to be authentic with our family and friends because they already know us. They love us. It’s why I’m authentic with you now and always. I’m that guy who helped you out of a tight spot with your dog. I told you about my husband and our dogs. We had some serious talks because sometimes dog behavior issues are serious. We had some fun chats, too. It wasn’t political but really it was because what I’m talking about is how we got along. That’s what politics is all about.

Politics is only ugly when it’s weaponized, when we are divided so that someone else can wield power. Here was Milk’s strategy. Be who you are, open-hearted, calmly confident, without shame because there is no shame to be had here. Be yourself. Be visible. Be out. Be proud, so that when politicians try to gain power at your expense, your family, your friends (and yes your colleagues and clients) will know better. They will know you.

It’s hard to hate up close. It’s hard to cast a vote for someone’s demise when you know them – to wish someone ill – when you know them – to elect for someone’s suffering and take refuge in indifference – when you know them. So, know this. I cherish the common ground onto which your dog has led us. I see and know you. I take pride, take solace, sitting with you here, confident that you see and know me, too.

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA teaches dog training and behavior. He lives with his husband, Tim, in Houston Texas.

 

Treat your Chihuahua Like a Mastiff

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

Dogs are unique as a species in that they come in such varying sizes. It’s easy to forget, but important to remember that they are all dogs. They are far more similar to each other than they are different. Your Chihuahua is as much a dog as your Mastiff. Same with your Fox Terrier, your Bichon Frisé, and your little designer Schnapingfroodle.

Trouble is, we treat our little dogs differently in ways that understandably lead to aggressive behavior. More than half of the small dog aggression cases I see are related to how the dog is handled. Most of those are owner-directed aggression cases. The way we are touching, holding, swooping in and picking up, poking, prodding and otherwise fussing with our little dogs is causing the problem. We are startling them, scaring them, and pissing them off multiple times per day. We do it when they are playing, when they’re eating, resting, even when they’re sleeping. Our little 8 pound friend is minding her own business. Here we come out of nowhere (20 times her size), yammering away on our iPhone, bag on our shoulder. Then our big primate mit-of-a-hand shovels under her and lifts her airborne without so much as a “good morning, sweetie.”

Think for a minute what that must feel like for her. Seriously. Take a moment and give it some thought.

I’ve literally seen someone flip a small dog off their lap with their knee. Can’t do that with a Mastiff. Wouldn’t dare with a Malinois. But, the Maltese and the Miniature this-or-that is fair game? No. Just because we can do something with our dogs does not mean we should.

It shocks people when their dog bites them. They tell me it was unprovoked. Thing is we are provoking our little dogs every day. It’s not shocking at all. Animals who feel out-of-control and threatened will do what they need to protect themselves. We can relate to that.

Treat your Chihuahua like a Mastiff.

  • If you need your dog to move, direct her visually or verbally (hand targeting is good for this).
  • If you want your dog to get into a car or onto furniture, teach her to use steps or a ramp.
  • Wake your dog up by calling her name.
  • Touch gently.
  • If you must lift your dog, give her fair warning. Pause. Pet. Talk to her. Then lift. (If it’s a Mastiff you’ll need some help).
  • If your little dog has already bitten, you will need to call in help from a qualified dog behavior consultant or veterinary behaviorist. We have some relationship healing to do. The good news is these cases often resolve well. We just need to learn how to behave better so that our dog can too.

Then, gently, pick her up. Give her some lovin’. Put her in that cute handbag. You two are a fabulous couple.

Michael Baugh teaches dog training and behavior. His next dog will be a size small. He and his spouse, Tim, already have the sling carrier picked out.

April – The Michael’s Dogs Newsletter Missing Issue

 

Michael Baugh CDBC CPDT-KSA

I am nothing if not fastidious. About mid-month I prepare the following month’s Michael’s Dogs Newsletter. I write two new blog pieces. Sometimes I write one and pull an old one from the archive. Regardless, some time around the 15th to the 20th every month I sit down and put it together. That’s my routine. It’s been that way for more than a decade.

I’ve never missed an issue, not until this past month. We were well into April before I noticed. It’s funny how grief and mourning work.

For more than a decade I’ve written quite literally under the watchful eyes of “Michael’s Dogs.” Stella and Stewie (we used to say their names like it was one long name) were the constant thread in the narrative. They featured in almost every issue, their pictures and their stories.

Stella (13) died last Summer. Stewie (15) died March 16th of this year, right about the time I’d be doing the April newsletter. It wasn’t that I couldn’t write. There was no block, no burden weighing me down. I simply forgot. They were gone. The bowls were picked up. The beds were put away. And, oddly, the newsletter got swept up and put away as well. I’m familiar with mourning – dogs, parents, a sibling. It’s a quirky visitor. You’re okay. You’re not. You forget and of course you can’t. Not ever.

If you’ve worked with me you know I approach cases as if your dog were mine. How would I handle this case if this were my dog? I ask the question every day, not at all lightly. I really am thinking of my dogs. What if Stella had bitten a relative? What if Stewie and she fought? What if this and what if that. They never had those issue. But, they were my inspiration. This is, in fact, how I named the company. Michael’s Dogs, my dogs. My personal relationship with them has always been tied to your personal relationship with your dog. Corny? Yeah. Effective? I think so.

So. Now what? As I write this (mid month, back on schedule) I do not have an answer. Mourning is a healing process and a process I implicitly trust. It visits fond memories on us and unexpected tears. The research is fairly clear. For uncomplicated mourning the hardest part is the first two months. It softens predictably beyond that. For this and other reasons we have decided on a year without a dog. A full year.

Michael’s Dogs, the actual ones, are legend now. Their legacy is our name, but also the questions I will continue to ask. What if this dog, your dog, was mine? Our lives with dogs are intimate things, deeply personal. Their emotions get hooked in with ours. Their struggles become our struggles. When you need help you should expect no less than my asking these essential questions. What if this was my dog? Stella and Stewie, what if this was you? How would we handle this? How would we help set things right?

 

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Houston, TX. He publishes an email news letter every month (except that one time).