Michael Baugh CDBC

It is okay to teach your dog to lie down on cue, to experience calm behavior, and to just chill out. Training a relaxed body posture is not contrary to supporting your dog’s emotional regulation. It’s part of it. Your training isn’t a replacement for considering your dog’s overall well-being. It’s an essential element of that well-being.

Some folks bristle at training a down-stay as an alternative behavior to our dog’s barking, lunging, or biting. They have a point. A vigilant, aroused dog lying down is not the same as a dog who has learned to handle life’s stressors with grace and poise. Teaching lie down for relaxation and calm, however, is an important part of our overall plan.

Our dogs’ emotional well-being requires a lot of elements, just as our own emotional health does.

Great medical care to prevent and treat illness and pain.
Excellent nutrition.
Movement and exercise appropriate for our dog’s stage of life.
Social interaction with preferred humans and non-humans (our dogs get to choose who they like).
Enjoyable and enriching activities: play, sniffing, exploring, engaging with toys, and chewing (look for what interests your dog).
Sleep (dogs sleep upwards of 14 hours a day).
Learning, including learning how to be chill (even in situations that used to be angst-provoking).

I had to learn how to meditate. It’s not just something I practice; it is a practice. Meditation is not my complete mental health and wellness plan. It is part of my plan. You may practice breathing or yoga. Some folks soak in a Jacuzzi and let their minds fall silent. The goal is the same. Only the approach is different.

I lift weights and hike. You might play a sport and do Pilates.

Dinner parties and deep conversations are my thing. Someone else may prefer dancing or book clubs for their social time.

I read. You may prefer taking classes or listening to podcasts.

Sleep seems to be universal.

But there are still more variations on the theme of emotional regulation and mental health wellness than there are rigid rules. I like to think of it as a series of daily decisions I make for my dog’s benefit (and for myself, too). Our dogs learning emotional regulation, our teaching of it, supporting it, nurturing it — these are continuous choices we make every day. Keep at it. Strive to get better. See how it feels, how your dog seems to change, to blossom.

And.

Make room for bad days. Life is hard. I don’t have to tell you that. Offer yourself a little grace even as you strive for poise. Give your dog a little forgiveness as well. As another trainer reminded me, puppies get zoomies. Our dogs’ best choices are not always what we’d hoped for. They get overtired, irritated, and angry. Me too, honey. Me too.

Emotions are essential to our emotional well-being. Our dogs get to have feelings. We get to have feelings. No one wants a cold, little automaton. That’s not why we have dogs. We love our dogs because they are real. They are goofy and flawed. We want all that for them, and from them. We also want our dogs to bounce back from those big highs and the hard lows. Being silly is fun, but extreme emotional ups and downs can also feel like crap.

Emotional self-regulation. Mental health. Wellness and well-being. Aren’t we really just trying to say we want our dogs to be happy? Don’t we really just want to be happy with our dogs?

How about we go for that? Happy dog. Happy human. As many days as we can.

And if you want to teach your dog to lie down and relax, go for that too. A lot goes into being happy. Don’t miss any of it.

Michael Baugh teaches dog training in Sedona AZ, Houston TX, and online everywhere. He specializes in aggressive dog training.